


No Dark Secrets, Girls

by holisticdetectivegaygency



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-05 08:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15166256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holisticdetectivegaygency/pseuds/holisticdetectivegaygency
Summary: The nurses were all warned "No dark secrets, girls" but there's nothing dark about this secret. And just how secret is it anyway?Set at some point after Patsy's return from Hong Kong





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my second ever fanfiction, please excuse me if it's terrible, but I have been thinking about this scene between Patsy and Trixie for a lonnnnnnngggg time. I would really really appreciate comments, even if it's "That gay" (and tbh especially if it's "That gay".

Delia was hurrying through Nonnatus house in the early hours of the morning. She wouldn’t usually be making the short journey from her room to Patsy’s at this sort of hour – with Patsy sharing her room with Trixie it wasn’t safe – but Delia had had a nightmare, and then she heard Trixie leave at the call of a labouring mother on the other end of the phone line. 

It felt good to know that soon she would be in Patsy’s arms, but there was a bittersweet feeling underneath it all that Delia didn’t like to acknowledge. This was what they had been waiting for since their first kiss, since their first date, since the first time they saw each other and thought “I hope she’ll be my friend,” because they didn’t dare wish for anything different from friendship. But sometimes when Delia was in her room and Patsy was in hers, it felt like they were further apart than when Delia was in Wales or when Patsy was in Hong Kong. Delia tried to remain grateful for what they had. She was glad that she could see her girlfriend every day, and brush legs with her under the table as they ate, and most of all she was glad that Phyllis kept quietly making a rota which meant they were often home together. 

There were still moments though, where Delia felt like they were both ghosts, and she couldn’t direct her frustration at the geography of it all because that wasn’t what was keeping them apart. 

Delia knocked on the door softly, but she didn’t wait for a response before she opened it. 

“That was quick.” Patsy commented; the usually crisp sounds of her speech muffled by sleep. “It’s still dark out.” 

“Hold me, cariad?” Delia asked.

“Deels!” Patsy quickly made room for her girlfriend to curl up in her arms. 

Delia climbed into bed and leaned against Patsy. Her eyes pooled with tears as she felt her girlfriend place a soft kiss on the back of her head. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” Patsy asked. 

Delia shook her head. 

“Tell me what to do.” Patsy said.

“Just hold me.” 

Patsy tightened her embrace a little. “I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

***

Patsy plated up some food and - ignoring Nurse Cranes disapproving “You’ll encourage the rats to come and stay, lass.” - took it upstairs to Trixie. Patsy was even less of a fan of the idea of crumbs in the bedroom than Phyllis was, but she was feeling sentimental and poor Trixie had looked exhausted. She’d come back from last night's delivery and gotten into bed with barely an hour until she had to get up again. Though Patsy was grateful that the baby had taken it’s time because her and Delia had fallen asleep in bed together and Delia had only left the room a minute before Tixie came back. That after Tixie had got back from her rounds and gone straight to sleep, hoping to get some rest before her Tuesday evening “class”. She’d slept right through dinner. 

In their room, Trixie was already awake and putting on her makeup in the mirror.

“Room service!” Patsy called out. 

Trixie turned around, saw the plate of food and smiled. “Patsy, you absolute angel!” 

“That’s me.” she replied, setting it down on the bedside table. 

“You know,” Trixie started, as she set about fixing her hair. “I actually arrived home about an hour before I came to bed.”

Patsy’s chest tightened. “Oh?” she choked out, immediately regretting her too-high-pitched-to-be-casual tone. 

“Yes. I saw Delia curled in your bed, and thought the two of you didn’t look like you wanted to be interrupted.” 

“Trixie, I-” Patsy started, and then forced herself to become calm. She would deal with the emotional side of this afterwards. “Delia had a bad dream. She didn’t want to be alone.”

“So you were just being a good friend?” Trixie asked, with a teasing tone that Patsy didn’t quite register. “I do hope you’d let me share your bed if I had a bad dream.” 

“Yes,” Patsy said vehemently. “Of course I would, I’d do the same for any friend.” 

“Patsy…” Trixie said, going over to put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “From the point of view of one woman to another, I really couldn’t care less about what you do with the pretty Welsh nurse from down the hallway. And from the point of view of being your friend, I want to hear all about it.” 

“Really?” Patsy asked, feeling like it was a silly thing to say, but at the same time having no other words to offer. 

“Truly.” Trixie promised. “Now I need to hurry up and eat, or else that will have been two meals I’ve missed today. And when I get back this evening, you can tell me what I’ve missed. I warn you, Patsy, I want details.” 

“Details.” Patsy parroted, and glanced at the door. 

“Oh, go and find her then. You clearly have more important things to do than talk to me.”

Patsy wrapped her arms around Trixie tightly. “You have no idea what this means to me, Trixie. I’ve been so afraid, and I’ve had to be so careful of what I said to you. And now you know.”

“And now I know.” Tixie smiled. “Go on.” 

She could barely repress her laugh as Patsy hurried away. 

If only Patsy knew quite how long Trixie had been wondering how to bring this up; she’d been suspicious for years.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie gets the "details".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned with more of Trixie and Patsy being wonderful.

Trixie didn’t get the “details” that evening; the babies of Poplar didn’t care much for long awaited conversations between the midwives of the district. Wednesday also passed without convenient time for discussion. It was Thursday evening, after the younger nurses had spend about an hour convening in Trixie and Patsy’s room, when the conversation finally happened. Delia had left first - with a nervous glance at Patsy, then Trixie before she left - and Barbra was too tired to stay up talking. 

Patsy on her bed, leaning on her headboard, and Trixie was in the same position on her bed. 

For a moment neither knew what to say, although they knew exactly what they wanted to talk about.This felt like uncharted territory. Then Trixie thought about what Patsy did whenever the blonde came home with that irrepressible smile on her face. 

Trixie positioned herself at the other end of Patsy’s bed and said “So.”

Patsy stifled her smile and, doing an impression of Trixie feigning nonchalance, put all of her attention into inspecting her fingernails. “What is it?” 

“You have a funny look about you.” Trixie posed, enjoying the role reversal of their little routine. “Almost like you’ve met some charming young lady who paid you a compliment or two.” 

“I might have.”

Trixie leaned forwards. “How did you meet?” 

Their game was immediately forgotten and Patsy leaned forwards too, crossing her legs to maintain the position. “After I finished training as a nurse, I spent a year in another hospital before I moved to The London. And when I moved into the Nurses home, I’d had quite a rough few nights of it with some… dreams.” 

Patsy broke eye contact here. Trixie knew exactly what sort of dreams that Patsy was talking about. Sometimes she’d hear her roommate muttering stuff in her sleep, and Trixie knew enough about what she’d been through to put two and two together. They’d never talked about it, although Patsy knew why some days her friend was extra careful to bring her cups of tea and to suggest activities that required enough concentration that her mind couldn’t wander. 

“The first night I couldn’t get myself to drift off, and I ended up sitting in this tiny little living room area. I heard footsteps and I looked up to see this beautiful woman, brown hair loose over her pajama shirt. I stared at her for a moment. Normally I would have had more composure, Trix, but I wasn’t running off of very much sleep. 

“She asked me ‘Do you mind if I join you?’ in her wonderful accent. But I told her I didn’t feel like chatting.”

“You didn’t!” Trixie exclaimed. “You absolute fool!” 

“Well I wasn’t thinking, I was distracted by her accent.” Patsy defended herself. “It was fine, anyway. She said ‘Don’t worry, cariad; we don’t have to chat. I was just wondering if you wanted someone to sit with.’ “

“And what did you say?” 

Patsy grinned. “I asked her what cariad means. Then she went a bit red and said it was a Welsh endearment. So I gestured to the other chair to tell her she could stay, and we just sat together in silence for a bit. It was wonderful; she put me so at ease.”

“Oh that’s romantic! Were you desperately in love with her after just one evening?”

Patsy rolled her eyes. “Trixie, we’d just met. I hoped we’d be friends. And I thought she was quite pretty.”

Trixie grinned still. Then she stifled a yawn.

Patsy raised an eyebrow. “Is my romantic story not exciting enough for you?”

“Sorry, Patsy. I’m done in.” 

“Me too. Time to sleep, I think.”

Trixie returned to her own bed. “I can’t wait for the next installment.”

“I’m glad I can finally tell you.” Patsy admitted. 

Once they turned the lights out, Patsy was just moments from sleep but Trixie still had something on her mind. 

“Did you ever think about telling me?” she asked. For her, the darkness felt like a mask which was hiding all the worries and insecurities in this inquiry and making it just like the other questions, but Patsy could easily see through it. 

“I understand you know, Patsy.” Trixie said, when the pause had grown too long for her. “It wasn’t that you don’t trust me, but rather that the stakes were just too high. I do understand.” 

“I wanted to tell you when you were telling me about Tom, and when you were planning your wedding, I wanted so badly to be able to ask you to help plan mine. I nearly told you after you stood up for Mr Amos at the Rose Queen. I wanted to rant at you when Fred and Violet got engaged, because - even though I was glad they were happy - they’d only known each other two minutes. I wanted to sob on you when Delia was… away from me. And I wanted to ask you to look after her when I had to leave for Hong Kong. And most of all, Trix, I wanted to tell you every bally time you teased me for not having a boyfriend.”

Trixie laughed. 

“I’m so glad I can tell you now.” Patsy told her friend. 

“Sometimes, after I’d figured that you were… that way inclined, and when I was in a bad mood with you, I’d quiz you about men just to goad you.” 

Trixie didn’t get a response for a second, then Patsy threw her pillow across the room and it hit her squarely in the face. 

“Ow!” Trixie exclaimed, though it hadn’t actually hurt. 

“You deserved it, you terrible friend.” Patsy declared, though Trixie could easily hear the joking tone.

“I don’t care, you’re the one that’s going to have to get out of bed to retrieve it.” Trixie said, tossing the projectile out of her bed and onto the floor by the door. 

“It was worth it.” said Patsy, flicking on the lamp and clambering out of bed. She kept her back turned so Trixie couldn’t see the huge grin on her face, but that didn’t mean for a moment that Trixie didn’t know the grin was there. 

It really was worth it. Both women felt like a weigh had been lifted from them. And for Patsy it was a weight that had been there so long that she’d hadn’t realise how heavy it had been bearing down on her. 

She had a friend who would accept her without question.

“Goodnight, Trix.” Patsy said, as she climbed back into bed.

“Goodnight, Patience.”


End file.
